Sending Love
by HassleCastle
Summary: When Remus discovers 5 year old Harry's relatives are unkind he reports it to Dumbledore, only to have himself warded against going anywhere near Harry. So begins a quest to provide Harry with love and friendship without ever being able to go in seeing distance of him. This a sequel to Nursie91's one shot called 'the werewolf'. So go read that for background.
1. Chapter 1

It had been three days since Moody put him back together again. Three days since Remus had appeared at Moody's doorstep wishing for death over life. The shell of Moony from long ago shattered into a thousand pieces. Harry needed him and Dumbledore –_the bastard_- didn't care one whit. Harry was getting _beaten_ and shouted at. He had seen the scared green eyes as his uncle clouted him. He had seen the resignation as his aunt screamed obscenities. Resignation in a _five-_year-old's eyes. Remus had almost given up to black despair before some scrap of determination to help Harry –_curse or no curse- _broke through. So he couldn't get closer than three kilometers to Harry at any given time. Fine. He could work around that. Just because he couldn't get close enough didn't mean no one else could either.

For one moment Remus saw in his mind little Harry safe and sound in his arms. He could only imagine the feel of that small body as he held him close, safe from the world. The agony that ripped through him tore him apart. He would never get to see Harry again till he was an adult. The child should have been _his_! His to love, and cherish. Not abusive muggles who would sell him to anyone! Remus howled like the wolf that he was. He screamed at the injustice of it all again and again till he had no voice left. And then he sobbed and cried for the boy who should have been family. It was a lot later, when he could breath again that he realized that he was being held. An old cracked voice whispering meaningless reassurances for who knew how long.

"Thankyou" he whispered. Mostly to let Mad Eye know that he could stop now. He felt empty and exhausted. Wrung out and worn thin. He knew he had to help Harry some how. Absolutely _had _to. It just hurt unimaginably to know that he would not get to see Harry for a long long time. The little boy needed him _now. _The adult would not care for a ragged old wolf whom his parents knew years ago or so he assumed.

"Go to sleep lad. It will do you some good" broke in Mad Eye's voice.

And he nodded woodenly and closed his eyes falling asleep almost instantly from sheer exhaustion.

It was another two days before Remus could summon the energy to get up and leave. His wounds had mostly healed. And though Mad Eye was worried he had little pretext left to keep him there. Besides Remus wanted to get started on whatever little he could do for Harry. The first thing he did was to go out to a toy store and buy a teddy bear. Harry needed love. Desperatly. There was nothing better then a teddy bear to express that to a five year old. The bear he bought was soft brown, cuddly and a little less then a foot tall. It was small enough to a hide from a scary aunt yet large enough to cuddle on a scary night. It was perfect and cost Remus almost half of the meager amount of money he had from a job he had long been thrown out of. But if it brought a smile to Harry's face it would be worth every penny. The second thing Remus did was write a letter. He knew Harry was still too young to read but he figured he could charm it to read itself. Harry was five and magical. He would not be scared by magic when he saw weird things happen around him already. Or so Remus hoped. And third he needed a messenger. Though before he could actually send someone with the package he would need to scout the place of delivery.

It took Remus another two days to scout Harry's school and the little park near the Dursley's house. He had to wait till Harry was at home to scout the school, and wait till he was at school to scout the park and the Dursley's residence. The Dursley's house was small and freakishly neat. He saw a lot of Mr. and Mrs. Dursley in his scouting expeditions but only from a distance. After much thought Remus decided it would be safest for Harry to get the package at school. The risk of Petunia discovering the odd talking letter was too great, and a piece of parchment was less likely to be noticed in a chaotic primary school. Break time should work he thought. All Remus had to do was find someone who could sneak into a muggle school and deliver a package to a kid. Easy right? Right. It was the third morning when Remus tried to return to No 4 privet Drive to do some more scouting that he realized he couldn't go in that direction. That could mean only one thing. Harry had not gone to school today. That meant something was wrong with Harry, though there was nothing Remus could do about that. Remus wisely chose to use this opportunity to scout the school in the day, though it killed him to walk away.

Remus climbed a laughably low wall to get into the compound then sneaked around peaking into windows trying to find Nursery class. It was more difficult than he would have thought. On his fifth attempt, with his nose pressed to a window trying to judge the age of the children inside was when he was spooked.

"Excuse me. May I help you?"

Remus jumped a mile. SHIT. He was caught.

"Uh.."

"I don't know if its illegal or not, but I'm pretty sure you are not allowed to be doing that"

"Uh.."

His brain was whirring away trying to come up with a story to explain him self.

" Uh.. I was looking for my kid"

"Excuse me? Da-s* usually know their kid's class. It's why they have those meetings and stuff" the man said suspiciously

Remus finally noticed it was a ganitor he was talking to.

"Uh…"

And then the genius struck. A plan worthy of a marauder. If only he could do some very fast talking

"I'm sorry. My wife and I divorced six months ago. She won the custody case since Harry is so young. But Harry started school this year and I didn't even get to see him in uniform let alone talk to him! I just wanted to see him in class. My little baby already old enough to go to school!"

A few tears slipped down Remus's faces which was the easy part since he was such a mess these days already.

"I'm not allowed to be with Harry. She will file a restraining order if she hears. I just wanted to see him so much"

"Which class is he in again?"

"Nursery"

The ganitor gave a sigh and shook his head. If Remus had not looked so innocent and non-threatening Jef would never have done it.

"Alright. I will take you"

Remus felt a pang in his heart. If only he could see Harry even through a window.

The Ganitor took him to the window of a toy lined class room. They both peeked in.

"Alright. So which one is he?"

"He's not here" replied Remus forcing a puzzled note into his voice. "He has dark brown hair and bright green eyes. He is thin. His hair is messy. Sticks up at the back. He wears round glasses".

"Oh that un! I see him round from time to time. Is tiniest of the lot. Looks nothin like you. Seems like he ain't here today"

"I brought a teddy bear for him. I can't come tomorrow. Could u give it to him?

"I'm sorry. I ain't allowed to do that sortta thing. School won't like it that I'm dealin with parents. Who am I? Nothing but a ganitor I tell ya."

"Please Mr.?

"Jeff. Name's Jeff"

"Please Mr. Jeff. I'm not even allowed to legally see him. Just hand it to him in break or some thing. I will owe you"

"If you put it like tha'. Ok. I'll do it. Its just a teddy bear right?

"Yes. Its in the car. I'll put it in an envelope so its easy to handle. Wait here and I'll get it.

"Sure lad. You go do that"


	2. The Bear

_**(Tuesday Morning)**_

Remus hurriedly added a few more lines to his letter. Charmed it with a self reading charm which would activate every time harry unfolded the parchment, a muffliato so no one else around would notice the talking letter and a disillusionment charm to make it look like a page from a workbook meant to practice your letters on. He stuffed the contents into a big envelope leaving the flap open and rushed back to Jeff.

"Jeff?"

Jeff was sweeping the floor.

"here is the envelope."

Jeff took it and nodded.

"I'll visit after school a few days later. That way you could tell me if Harry has a message for me. What time do you leave? I could see you at the gate.

"I leave at three. Two hours after the young uns."

"I'll see you than. Thank you so much." Said Remus as he shook Jeff's hand and walked away.

_**(Monday night)**_

Harry was locked in his cupboard again and it was all his fault. Harry had vomited over Aunt Petunia's shiny kitchen floor and Aunt Petunia had been livid. She had made him scrub it clean over and over for an hour till Harry's hands were all pruny from the lemon floor cleaner. Of course what Aunt Petunia did not know was that Dudley had punched Harry in the stomach minutes after Harry had downed the dry bread and water Aunt petunia had given him for dinner which had cause him to heave in the first place. For some reason Harry was pretty sure it would not have mattered even if Aunt Petunia had known. It was for that same reason that Harry had not told her that his vision was tunneling after he vomited but had stoically soldiered on trying to clean up as fast as possible.

He was extremely grateful when Aunt Petunia barked "that's enough! Back to your cupboard, you!"

Harry didn't even mind that he got no food. His stomach hurt abominably and he was pretty sure whatever he ate would come right back up. Though thank God he could see better now. Harry was funny that way. He got better on his own pretty easily.

_**(Tuesday Morning)**_

However come morning Harry felt worse. He felt really hot and clammy. His stomach still hurt and was all knotted up. He knew he should get up and start breakfast but all he could manage was curl up and whimper. Dudley was stomping on the stairs above him and the dust raining down on him made him sneeze which made his stomach hurt even more. Now aunt Petunia was screaming in her shrill voice again. She was probably screaming at him but he couldn't even open his eyes which felt sticky and too heavy. Her voice hurt his ears. Someone opened his cupboard door with a bang.

"Get up you lazy oaf!"

Harry struggled to open his eyes. He was all stiff. He sat up with a groan and swayed.

"What's wrong with you?" Shrieked Aunt Petunia. "Have you been playing in the dirt again at school you filthy creature?"

"Fine you lazy freak! Stay in there. Don't you dare go anywhere near my Dudley or the food! Keep your germy self away from us you filthy freak!"

She banged the door shut and bolted it. Harry just curled up back into his dirty baby blanket and tried to keep the tears at bay. He didn't even know why he cried any more. Aunt Petunia always shouted like that. It shouldn't hurt now. But Harry couldn't help wishing that he had a Mama and Papa like everyone else. Why was he a freak? He knew all the other children were good because they had mamas and papas. Harry curled up on himself and fell asleep with his miserable thoughts. He dreamed of the terrible green light and the screaming woman again.

_**(Tuesday night)**_

Harry woke up to darkness. His stomach hurt a lot less and he was hungry. He also needed to go to the bathroom. He had no idea what time it was but he could still here the telly so he assumed it was not that late yet. He knocked timidly at his cupboard door hoping that it wasn't his uncle who opened it. He was in luck. It was Aunt Petunia who opened the door after five minutes of persistent knocking.

"So you're up? About time!"

"I could help with dinner Aunt Petunia. May I come out?" Harry asked trying to keep the hopeful note out of his voice. Maybe if he helped with dinner he'd get some leftover bread.

" You all better already? You are unnatural you are. No normal person gets better from the flu that fast. Fine! You can help with dinner. But no funny bussines! Nothing! You understand?"

"Yes aunt Petunia"

And so Harry was let out. He got a quick trip to the bathroom, after which he helped with dinner. He even got left over potatoes with bread. It was good night.

_**(Tuesday morning)**_

Remus was pacing in his tiny loft. The loft was on rent and he was behind again. He knew he should be out job hunting now that the teddy bear and letter had been given to Jeff but he was too restless. He knew he had to wait at least till tomorrow evening to talk to Jeff again but how he wished he could get a response faster! Remus was sick and tired of job hunting. He would get no wizarding job despite getting outstanding on all his N.E. . He was creature that haunted children's dreams. He was the monster in the forests. He could get no job in the wizarding world. And in the muggle world he had no degree to aid him. The best he could do was delivering pizza, or waitering or becomes a sales person selling muggle goods. He wasn't vain. But any of these occupations barely paid to keep him fed. He sighed. If he wanted to keep this line of communication up with Harry he had to get a job. He would need money to spare to send the little things Harry needed.

His loft was over shops in a market place. That was the cheapest place he could find without sharing a room with a muggle. He went downstairs and started job hunting. He saw a pizza joint with a hand written notice "Delivery boy needed." Job as a delivery guy was better than being a sales man or waitering. He would get pizzas, and ride off on the bike given by the pizza place. He would park in the nearest alley way. Apparate to his destination, deliver the pizza and kill forty minutes reading a book sitting on a park bench somewhere. He would then apparate back and start all over again. He sighed. At least he got peace and quite on the job. Sometimes he'd go back after only thirty minutes and get commended for being fast. I was an easy monotonous job with too much time to think. He sighed again. He would take it.

Harry was happy to be going to school. Sure he had to hide during break to avoid Dudley and his gang. And most of the teachers didn't like him much because aunt Petunia kept telling them he was lazy and Dudley always took his homework to submit as his own. But at least he got to sit peacefully all day on a desk or even play with some toys. Harry loved playing with toys and art class. It was the most fun he ever had. Sure kids didn't want to be his friend because they were scared of Dudley and his gang. But the art teacher was nice. And the assistant even gave him a hug sometimes! He loved it. He had never been hugged until he started primary school.

When the bell for break rang Harry waited in the class with the teacher for everyone to file out. It was safe with the teacher. In the beginning of break Dudley and his friends liked to hog the swings so it was okay to sneak into the corridor once they were gone. It was only towards the later part of break that they grew bored with the swings and started Harry hunting. So when Harry finally creeped out of the class room he was surprised to find a ganitor waiting at the door.

"You're Harry? Right Lad?"

"Yes" Harry whispered. No one other than the teacher had ever talked to him before.

"Your Da came round yesterday. You weren't here so he left this for you" he said thrusting a package into a shocked Harry's arms. Before Harry could protest that he didn't have a Da the janitor had turned around and walked off.

Harry carefully looked at the package. It had his name on the front- "Harry Potter" in an adult's writing. It was the first thing he had learned to read. Though he was still learning his letters he could recognize his name when he saw it and even write 'Hary' in a trembling hand. So the packet was for him. But he had no Da. Or maybe he did and he just didn't want him that's why he had left him with the Dursleys? He didn't know. Carefully he carried his package out of the building and to the back where the bins were kept to open it in peace. It stank here so none of the children came here. He sat down on the ground with his back against the wall and carefully opened the big envelope. Out popped a bear- the softest one he had ever seen! Was that for him? It must be a mistake. No one gave a freak toys like that. He looked inside the envelope again even as he unconsciously hugged the bear to his chest. There was a folded paper in there. He pulled it out and unfolded it. It had lots of adult writing on it. And that's when it happened..

The paper wriggled out of his hand floating near his head and started talking. Harry was trembling. He was doing the freaky think again. Uncle Vernon had said if he did a freaky thing again he would take the belt to him. Uncle Vernon didn't normally spank him. Only when he was being freaky did that happen. And truly it was his fault. He knew what would happen and he still couldn't stop being freaky. The time he had regrown all his hair in one night uncle Vernon had spanked him so hard he couldn't sit down for a week. And he didn't get anything to eat either. He had to search bins in the street for food- he was that hungry. And Dudley would have a field day. Dudley knew that when Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were angry with Harry he could get away with anything. He loved punching harry, and chasing Harry up a tree and his all time favorite was dunking Harry's head in the toilet. No. Harry must not be freaky. He had to stop doing this!

It was quite sometime later that Harry was brought back to the present by the shrill ringing bell. Break was finished. He realized that he was curled up in a ball on the ground with tears streaming down his eyes and clutching the soft bear to his chest. He quickly sat up and stuffed the bear back in the envelope. Dudley must not see the bear or he'd take it away! He shoved the freaky paper under a rock so it wouldn't float again, grabbed his bear filled envelope and ran back to class.

Miss Wynter loved having art lessons with the nursery children. The little ones were creative and fun. So it was with mounting concern that she saw Harry creep back into class. He was dusty and his face was tear stained.

"Harry dear are you alright?" she asked

"I'm fine" was the whispered reply.

"Honey is someone bothering you? Was someone mean to you?" she pressed

"No"

Miss Wynter knew that shy little Harry was often picked on by the other children especially Dudley Dursley who was three times wider than Harry and a good head talled. But Harry never said a word of complaint. It didn't help that Harry's aunt never had a good word to say about him. Harry was also the most poorly dressed student of her class. Though a tiny child he was always dressed in huge ragged cast offs. His pants were often held up with a rope or a big safety pin and his uniform shirt sleeves had to be rolled up several times just to reveal his hands. The child had a satchel for a bag and shoes with peeling soles. But when she had tried to launch a formal complaint the school administration would not hear of it. Petunia Dursley was a respectable woman in the neighborhood and was a friend of the principal.

If things kept going this way Miss Wynter intended to report poor Harry to child services, though she would lose her job for sure. It was the reason why she had not done so yet.

Harry cuddled with the bear every second he stayed in the cupboard. He refused to think about the freak accident with the talking paper. Instead he focused on the nice fluffy bear. Someone out there loved him enough to send him a bear. He might not want to keep Harry but he had sent Harry a bear. Harry smiled. He had never had a present before. From that day on Harry slept with his bear. It was so soft against his face. He slept peacefully after a long time and no green light haunted his sleep

TBC


	3. Pizza and Pictures

**I'm sorry this is so short. I'm trying not to be like the usual ff writer begging for reviews but comments and even plot ideas would be appreciated**

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Remus had gotten the job. It was every bit as boring and monotonous as he had expected it to be. On some deliveries he took the bike and drove to the location just for something to do. The one perk was that all employees were entitled one large pizza every second day or half a large pizza daily. Remus befriended the only other delivery guy- Jo - who liked to complain about being underpaid and talked non-stop. By the second day Remus had convinced him to deliver a quarter of his daily pizza half to Harry's school if he was anywhere in the vicinity around break time. Jo was supposed to give it to Jeff who was supposed to pass it on to Harry. Jo said it wouldn't be possible every day but it was a popular enough area that he'd probably be able to deliver twice or thrice a week. It was this perk that convinced Remus the job was great and made him breathtakingly happy.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day dawned bright and sunny. Harry woke up happy and excited for another day of school. He had blocked all memory of the paper by now. He remembered receiving a bear in an envelope from the janitor and he hoped his secret friend might send something else today. It turned out to be an outstanding day. Dudley had a fight with Piers and was kept in the class room during break as punishment. And when Haryy stepped out of the classroom the old janitor was waiting outside again.

"There yeah are Harry. How are yeah?

"I'm well. Thank you" whispered Harry. "What's your name?"

"I'm Jeff. Your papa sent you lunch today." He said holding out a small square box.

"He also said yeah could give me a message if yeah wanna tell him somethin"

He waited for Harry to say something.

"Do yeah wanna tell him something?" Jeff prompted gently

"Tell him thank you. I loved the bear." Was the timid reply, "And ask him.. ask him –can I have a picture of him"

"sure kid. I'll do that. Now run along before your lunch gets cold"

And Harry did. Truth was Harry didn't care if it was cold. He had never had lunch before. When he opened the box he couldn't believe his eyes. It was pizza! Dudley sometimes got it as a treat. He had never had any before. And it was huge. Two whole pieces! When he took his first bite he found it divine. He didn't even mind the smell of the dumpster he was hiding nearby. He ate one whole piece which made him fuller then he had ever been. Carefully he closed the flat rectangular box again with the remaining piece and stuffed it in the waist band of his trousers under his shirt so Dudley wouldn't notice Harry had something. He would slip it in his satchel when Dudley wasn't looking, and maybe he could eat it for dinner tonight.

Harry was grinning when he went back to class. First the bear, now lunch. Someone loved him very much indeed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remus had gone back to see Jeff the first day Harry got back to school, but Jeff had nothing to report and in fact seemed surprised to see him. The second day he went he had a pleasant surprise.

"Hello Jeff, it's good to see you."

"No problem Mr. Potter."

" So did Harry say anything today."

"That's a shy lad you have, barely speaks without prompting. But he's a good boy. Proper manners he has that un. Harry says thank you. He loved the bear. And he says can he have a picture of you. Probably misses seeing you. Divorces are hard on children…"

Remus didn't even here the last part of the sentence. He was still reeling from the bit about the picture. His heart filled at Harry's thanks and he yearned to see him. But the request for a picture he knew was a means of identification. He didn't know if Harry was responding to his letter or if he had not heard the letter at all which was unlikely but possible too. How he wished he could send a friendly face to Harry who could have long loving chats with him. But both Dung and Mad eye were not loving and Mad eye was out right scary while Dung was never sober. No he knew no one who he could send in his stead to love Harry. Sirius's face swam up in his mind's eye and he ruthlessly squashed the thought along with pain and betrayal that accompanied it. He had to move on for Harry's sake.

"Mr. Potter?"

"Uh huh? Sorry I was thinking. What were you saying"

"Uh nothin. Jus I'll expect you tomoro I suppose?"

"Yes. I'll swing by after school with the pictures" said Lupin deep in thought.

He would need to decide if the pictures should be muggle or magical. With no indication how the letter had been received he did not know which would be more suitable. He decided to play it safe. Harry did live with Muggles after all. Remus went home and started carding through the boxes of his old things. He had not unpacked them because he moved too often and the boxes held nothing he needed. Now he sat down and went through them looking for a picture. He found one of the potters wedding. It was a muggle one of Lilly and James. He decided that he could send that to Harry. There were a few other muggle picture too, mostly of james or lilly. Lilly had kept a muggle camera on hand to send pictures to her mom, and all of them had often goofed around with it. As he carded through the photo graphs he suddenly came across a mirror. It was old regular mirror, rectangular in shape but it brought memories of a pair of mirrors james and Sirius had. A two way mirror. If he had a two way mirror he could talk to Harry! But two way mirrors were very expensive. And he would never be able to afford one. Maybe he could charm two regular mirrors into a two way mirrors? It was very complex spellwork. The mirror had to be quite sturdy to withstand it. Not to mention the strength of magic required. It had to be very strong spell work to last any length of time. Hmm. He would need a book on it to get anywhere, which would be quite expensive too not to mention difficult to find. Making two way mirrors was a trade secret and not common knowledge. Hmm.. Maybe he could visit Flitwick. As long as Flitwick did not mention him to Dumbledore which was only too likely. Besides the minute he entered castle grounds Dumbledore would know and would want to know what he was up to. Remus sighed. This he would have to think on.

He put the things away and took out the pictures he wanted to send to Harry. He clearly wrote in capital letters MOM behind lilly's picture, DAD behind James's picture and ME behind his own. The wedding pictures he left un-labelled hoping once Harry worked out who was who he would get it. Of course Petunia might have pictures of Lilly lying around. But from the way she had treated Harry the day he saw him, he doubted she had ever bothered to show him any. It was no secret that Lilly and Petunia didn't get along. Petunia had refused to come to Lilly's wedding and had told her to never show her face again. This response so soon after the Mr. and Mrs. Evan's death had left Lilly deeply hurt. It had been Remus who walked Lilly to the isle, Remus whom Lilly shared her troubles with when James was being a prat, Remus who backed up Lilly when James and Sirius were hell bent on being idiots. Remus was Lilly's family after her parents died. Of course Lilly returned the sentiment equally. She was the one who perceived Remus's lonliness and made sure he remained a part of their family. She always had a ready ear for all of his worries. Lilly was the sibling Remus never had, and it hurt to think Harry was just as lonely as he had been.

ooooooooooooooo


	4. Aftermath

**Sorry for taking so long folks. Weekends disrupt my routine because of all the people coming and going. There's a lot more to do on them. And thank you for all the favorites. I'm glad you like it. Leave comments and your thoughts as reviews. They warm my heart …**

Harry was having a bad day. He had been lost in thought about his mysterious care giver while he had made breakfast. Unfortunately the eggs had burned. Aunt Petunia had been so furious that she had hit Harry's other hand which was resting on the shelf with the empty sauce pan she held. Harry was very lucky the pan was as yet empty and not heated or else he would have had to deal with burnt fingers too instead of the bruised slightly bent fingers he sported at the moment. In turn his English teacher was furious with him when he could not finish even two lines of letters when everyone did a page and gave him a 'piece of her mind' about his 'laziness' which was becoming 'unmanagable'. She promised if he did not start behaving soon she'd complain to his aunt again. Aunt Petunia was usually delighted when the school complained about him not working, though she would remind him what a burden he was and he didn't get dinner. But then he didn't get dinner often so that really was nothing new.

In break Dudley saw him getting the envelope Mr. Jeff handed over with a "Here are the pictures dear" which lead to a game of Harry hunting. Harry terrified of losing the pictures hid them behind the dumpsters when he gained some distance and a corner, from Dudley and his gang. However he dared not linger anywhere near the hiding place and shot out only seconds later. It truly was a bad day because Piers cornered him in a corner of the ground and Dudley proceeded to roll him in a nearby puddle getting mud in his eyes and down his neck. Of course his overlarge uniform was soaked and muddy and his socks were soaked through inside his worn sneakers. When he made his way back to class Miss Burns was so furious that she sent him straight to the principal's office. The principal would not let him enter her office because he was tracking too much mud and called Petunia immediatly. Whatever Aunt Petunia said only made the principal frown worse and since Aunt Petunia refused to come early to get Harry just because he liked to roll around in the mud, Harry spent the next two hours shivering in the plastic bucket seats outside the principal's office until it was time to go home. He didn't even get a chance to retrieve his pictures.

Aunt Petunia came to pick him up raging all the way from the corridor and till they reached Privet Drive while Dudley kept grinning like a mad person. She made him stand in the back yard, told him to strip all the way and washed him with the water hose which was freezing cold! Things only got worse when Harry who was completely numb from the cold felt his bladder let go without his permission. Aunt Petunia told him exactly what a filthy freak he was while Dudley's grin promised that half the school would know by tomorrow morning how Harry peed in the backyard. Dudley watched all the while as Harry red with embarrassment and breathless with suppressed sobs dried with the rag Aunt Petunia gave him and walked starkers back to his cupboard.

Harry collapsed as soon as Aunt Petunia bolted his cupboard from the outside and cried. What good was someone who cared for you if they left him with the Dursleys! Apparently he had a so called 'papa' who didn't want Harry. What good were lunch and a bear when he had to live here, where everyone hated him? And yet, despite being furious with the mysterious 'papa' he could not let go of the bear he clutched. His soft clean fur against his hot tear stained face felt lovely. A while later he pulled on some clean clothes and fell asleep.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remus had a bad feeling about Harry. He had gone to see Jeff to ask If Harry had said anything when he got the pictures.

"Hey jeff! How did it go. Was he happy to get them?"

"I don' know Mr. Potter. I gave em to the kid. But that fat kid in his class- the one with the blond hair- he saw an started chasin him. Thought it was a game of tag or somm'at but Harry didn look too 'appy."

Lupin felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. If Dudley Dursley had seen Harry get a package there would be trouble. Lupin had got an eye full of all the children in Harry's class that fateful day that he had met jeff, and Dudley Dursley was the only fat and blond child in the class. Five year olds were rarely fat. Chubby sometimes, but not really fat like Dudley. Lupin only knew the name because he had overheard Petunia say it while he scouted Number 4 one day.

"Alright Jeff. Thank you."

Lupin had gone home but his mind dwelled on Harry. With Harry unable to write back they needed to talk, and it was about time Remus actively tried to find a means to achieve it. Remus apparated to Moody's house and rang the bell. He had not gone back since his breakdown and it was nearly that time of the month again. Moody was probably still worried about him. That would be moody- tough as nails on the outside, soft on the inside.

"Remus? You okay? Remus!"

Remus suddenly realized that Mad-eye had not only opened the door but was looking frantic.

" Hello to you too mad eye" and " I am 'fine'!" assured Lupin when Mad eye continued to frown. "May I come in?"

"You don't usually appear in the middle of the month unless you are hurt in some way? What's your middle name?"

"Mad eye, it's really me. It's John. And I'm here about Harry. I've been trying to get in touch with him"

Mad eye raised his eyebrows. "It really is you." Mad-eye stepped back to let him in.

"So lad. Getting in touch how?"

"I.. I want to talk to him. I have researched. I believe he has no friends or even a caring adult in his life. It would do him some good to have someone to talk to.."

"Humph… so what is it you want of me? You wouldn't be here unless you wanted something."

Now that Lupin had to ask Mad-eye he blushed red. He was deeply aware of his ragged robes. Remus had never ever asked for charity. He was proud to be educated, polite and self sufficient. He would rather starve then ask for charity of any sort…

"Come on. Out with it." Moody egged him in his usual gruff manner

Harry needed him to do this for him. That little boy living all alone in a world which hated him needed him. Remus knew what it was to be hated and feared and he had seen how the dursleys reviled harry. Remus needed to swallow his pride and do whatever the hell Harry needed him to do.

"twowaymirror" Remus finally mumbled out looking in his lap.

"Talk up boy. I'm not as young as I use to be."

Lupin gathered all his courage and looked up.

" A two way mirror. It's the only way. The boy is five. He cannot write to me yet or even read a note I send him. He lives with muggles so it can not be the floo. There is no wizard close by in that neighborhood who's floo we could use on occasion. Arabella Fig is a street down but she reports to Dumbledore. Besides a floo conversation would be highly distressing to a muggle raised child. Fire is feared deeply. I don't even know anyone trustworthy who I could send in my stead to meet up with Harry secretly and offer him some love and friendship." Lupin sighed. "The only means left is a two way mirror. It is easy to use and conveniently hidden. But I don't have a book to try attempting making one. I dare not ask flitwick with Dumbledore alert against me. And I can't … can't afford to buy one" Remus spit out the last words with difficulty.

"well argued. I'll send one over in a day or two"

"Whaat? How" asked Remus flabbergasted. "And the cost..?" he said, extremely embarrassed.

"I'll ask Flitwick to make me one. He has no reason to doubt or report _me_ laddie. Or I'll just ask him for a book about them. You are talented in charms. You could make it with the right instructions. Though it would be faster if flitwick did it.'

"Thankyou!" said Remus with wet eyes. He had been angsting about this for months

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two days later Harry was sitting in class. He had gotten no dinner for the past three nights. All he had was tap water to drink. But his 'papa' had come through for him. Though he still knew nothing about the man thank goodness he had that yummy lunch of pizza to eat. And truly two slices each day were easily, enough for dinner as well. For the first time Aunt Petunia's No food punishment was easy to bear. But any relief he had gotten from the food delivery was over taken by the spanking he had gotten from Uncle Vernon. Apparently he had dragged the Dursley's good name through the mud because of his craziness. How dare he repay the Dursleys kindness with stupid dirty tricks which insulted the Dursleys in the neighborhood. Uncle Venon had spanked his bottom till Harry had cried and begged him to stop, and then he had spanked him some more for 'good measure'. Even the thought of it still brought tears to Harry's eyes. He had been barely able to sit and school had been hell to get through. Harry's fiddliness in class had earned him punishment to stand in the corner which Harry had welcome relief.

The past two days Harry had dared not go look for his pictures. He had been the last to get out of class long after the other children had gone out, had grabbed the box from Jeff, wolfed down his slice of pizzas fast as he could right there in the corridor where Jeff's presence offered relative safety. He would then go back into class to hide his leftover pizza in his bag, and the he would go out only to hover near the cross looking teacher who was supposed to monitor the playground. The teacher on duty never smiled at him and believed he was a trouble maker, but at least as long as he was around her, Dudley could not grab him and do what he pleased. Harry didn't think his bottom could take another spanking. He had to be good! He must be good. But today he just had to go check if his pictures were still there. Today there was no pizza and no jeff but that was ok. Beside today was the third day since incident. Aunt Petunia migh give him a dry slice of bread today. She never risked his getting sick and usually gave him a bit to eat every two days or so even if she was mad.

Today Harry sneaked out of class after all the children were gone and made straight for the dumpsters without entering the play ground. He checked behind the dumpster but the envelope was not there. He checked under it and around it. He was about to give up with that he lump in his throat when he noticed the corner of an envelope peeking out from under a rock. His envelope! Harry snatched it out. Then siiting down with his back against a wall, Harry took out the bunch of pictures. He almost couldn't believe it. The first picture on top was of a woman with red hair and green eyes. She was smiling standing in a very pretty garden. He looked behind the picture and it said – M-O-M mom! It said mom. Was that his mom? Where was she? Why wasn't she here? Was she really dead in a car accident like Aunt Petunia said? She must be. Or she would be with Harry right? She loved him didn't she? She was very pretty. It hurt to look at her. Harry traced the picture with his finger willing the picture to get an answer. When the bell rang Harry jumped. His 20 minute break was over. Harry hurriedly put the picture back in the envelope. He would look at the rest of the pictures later. There wouldn't be much light but he got some through the slits in his cupboard door. He would look then. Or he would look again tomorrow in break, sitting here near the dumpster. Harry smiled through his tears. At least he had pictures to look at. It was soo much better then the summers when he spent hours weeding. This was good. Then why did it hurt so much?

TBC


	5. The Mirror and Moody

_Sorry for being away for so long, but having started my masters I doubt my ability to update with literally no time on my hands. Thank you for sticking by me and enjoy the chapter..__. _

Remus got the pair of mirrors four days later. It had a note with it that apologized for the delay and wished him luck. It was with nervousness that Remus wrapped the mirror for Harry. The mirrors were not very large- about 4 inches wide and 6 inches long. Remus was all jitters. He had wanted this for so long and he was sure something would happen to jinx it.

Remus went to see Jeff after school to give him the package trying to figure out how he will have Harry contact him.

"Hey Jeff!"

"Hello "

"How's Harry doing?"

"He's doin okey I guess. He's bein very careful to stay around an adult to avoid prankin from that big kid in his class"

"I'm glad to hear that" said Remus giving Jeff a warm smile.

"Jeff, I have another package for Harry I need to pass on to him"

"Sure thin Mr. Potter. Wha' is it?"

"Just a small Mirror. He was attatched to it. Thought he would like to have it back. Here" said Lupin holding out the flat taped envelope.

"okey" said Jeff taking it and tucking it in a pocket.

"And I have a message for him too"

"Yeh?"

"Tell him to say the name 'Remus Lupin' when he looks at it"

"Remus Lupin?" asked Jeff looking puzzled. "Why?"

"Just give him the message. It means something to him." Said Remus trying to hide his nervousness. "Remus was his favorite teddy bear. I used to tease him by calling him my little Remus. Anyways it will mean something to him."

"Sure thing Mr. Potter" said Jeff shrugging pegging it as one of those crazy rituals between parents and little kids. Only yesterday he had seen Little Suzy's dad say "Go Lions!" as a term of farewell.

"Make sure you remember it right. "Remus Lupin". Got it?"

"It's a weird name. I'll remember it . Good evenin"

"Good evening Jeff" said Remus trying not grimace at his name being called weird.

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

Harry was happy to see Jeff waiting for him in the corridor. Jeff meant food which was always welcome. Today was better then all of last week. His bottom didn't hurt so much anymore and he had been able to finish all of his English work. He had been told he was good boy and he should concentrate more like he did today. Dudley had looked like he had sucked a lemon and Harry had grinned. It was rare for a teacher to be happy with him, and though he knew Dudley would be annoyed later, it was worth it. Besides Harry was on the alert. He would not let Dudley catch him again.

Harry was the last to leave the class room and after checking the corridor for Dudley and his gang he welcomed with a smile.

"Hello Harry. I have lunch and a treat from your papa" said Mr. Jeff with a smile. "Here" he said handing over the small box of pizza and a flat envelope.

Harry looked at the envelope curiously "What's that?"

"you papa said it was some sort of mirror. Said to tell you to say Remus Lupin when you look in it"

"okkaaay" said Harry thinking adults were very weird.

"Bye Mr. Jeff" and walked to his favourite hiding spot behind the dumpsters to explore the packages.

Harry found a plain heavy mirror with a thin gold frame around it in the envelope. He could see his messy hair, and green eyes sparkling in the sunlight. Harry was fascinated. He had never had a chance to closely observe his reflection. He was still too small to see in the bathroom mirror and he was not supposed to go in Dudley or aunt Petunia's room where they had mirrors, except to clean them when Aunt Petunia would stand right next to him to ensure he did not take anthing. After a little while of staring at himself eating pizza he thought he would try out the weird suggestion just to see what happened.

"Remus Lupin" he said and suddenly the mirror went black. Harry gave a little scream as his reflection disappeared and he dropped the mirror which landed softly in the grass. Now there was a face of man in the mirror. Harry backed away from it. He was being freaky again. He did not know what was happening but this was not supposed to be happeneing. And then the man spoke

"Harry?"

"Harry are you there?"

"Harry may I please talk to you?

"Harry?"

Very reluctantly Harry peered at the mirror which was now facing the sky.

"Wh..who are you?" sqeaked Harry.

Harry's bottom still hurt and he didn't want to -

"Harry? I'm Remus Lupin. The man who sends you pizza." Said the brown haired man kindly.

"But.. are you my papa? Why aren't you here?" the words seemed to burst out of Harry with a sob. He just had to know.

"Haarry. Sshh. I'm a friend of your fathers. Harry your parents are dead. I thought your Aunt told you that?" said Mr. Lupin in such a nice voice that Harry wanted to fall through the mirror and hug him.

"She did. Sshe said they were no good drunks who died in a car crash. What's a drunk Mr. Lupin?"

"Harry. They were heroes. They died to save you. They were very brave people. And they loved you so much!"

"Then it's my fault they are dead?" asked Harry in a small voice.

"Of course not! It's not your fault. You should be proud that your mommy and daddy loved you so much that they were willing to die to keep you safe!" said Remus fiercly.

Harry was confused. He did not understand what Mr. Lupin was saying.

"Mr. Lupin? How did you get in my mirror? I'm doing the freaky thing? Aren't I? Uncle Vernon will be so mad…" Harry couldn't breathe. He could see Uncle Vernon's puple flace as he took of his belt. "It hurts! Stop. Please, please! Hurts!" Harry whimpered as he tried to breath. Everything was going dark and then he knew no more.

Oooooooooooooooooo

Remus was panicking. This was not how it was supposed to have gone. Harry had started gasping for air as soon as he registered that a mirror should not be talking. It broke Remus's heart to see Harry's wild eyes as he begged for some imaginary beating to stop. Harry seemed unable to hear him as he repeatedly called out his name. Right before Remus's eyes Harry collapsed. If there had been some assurance that Remus's heart would survive long enough for him to apparate to Harry and get him to a hospital Remus would have taken it. However as things stood Remus knew that Dumbledore's curse would kill him immediately if he apparated next to Harry. So he did the only thing he could do. He apparated to moody's house.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Moody's lunch was rudely interrupted when someone tried to barge down his door. He jumped with his wand ready to take down a battalion of death eaters when he heard Remus calling out for him. With caution he proceeded to the door and questioned Remus -through the door- to confirm his identity. When he finally opened the door Remus jumped in grabbed his arm and started to drag him out causing him to nearly hex Remus into oblivion.

"Moody stop! Harry passed out as we were talking! Please go and check on him"

"Slow down laddie. From the beginning… What happened"

"I was talking to Harry in the mirror but the minute he registered the mirror had a …had _me_.. in it he had a panic attack. Passed out I think. He was in some corner of the playground at his school I think. You need to go... NOW. Find him!"

"Wait a minute. Passed out you said? Then he should be fine. He can only panic and not breath while he is conscious."

"You have to go see him. Please."

"Remus. Take a deep breathe. Now. Harry is okay. He had a panic attack. They pass.."

"You won't go see him? He is so scared and you won't go see him?"

"Now laddie what will his teachers think if I go there. You say the lad is scared? He'll be terrified when he sees me one eye and one leg."

"He'll see past how you look. Hell- you can wear a glamour. He just needs some love Mad eye! He is 5 years old! Children need to be held, and cuddled, and loved and be taken care of! Not to be beaten up and terrorized!.

"You don't know that for sure- but alright!" said Mad-Eye holding his hands up in conciliatory gesture just as Remus opened his mouth to interrupt his again. "I'll go see him. But you stay put! Use that mirror you are clutching."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the end Moody just disillusioned himself and apparated in to the street Harry's school was in. He walked into the school yard failed to see Harry. Using a 'point me' spell he located Harry behind the school building slumped against the dumpsters. He was just coming to, groggily opening his eyes. Being careful of not being in Harry's line of sight, Mad eye silently cast a privacy, a 'notice me not' and a disillusionment charm on the space Harry was in before taking of his own disillusionment. He then added a glamour to his eye and leg to make them look normal. He walked up to Harry, knelt by his head and waited for him to notice him.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Harry woke up to see blue sky. It was a little while before he noticed the odd old man with grey hair kneeling by his head. He quickly scrambled into a sitting position and leaned away. Oddly enough the man was smiling at him.

"Hullo Harry!" greeted his deep throaty voice and Harry found his voice stuck in his throat.

"Hhhi" replied Harry timidly. "Do I know you?". He quickly glanced around to check if anyone else was around but there was no one. This man was not dressed like a janitor either.

"We have not been introduced. I'm Alastor Moody. You have had quite the shock. Remus told me you he talked to you from the mirror but you did not believe him?"

Harry felt his stomach drop. _How _did he know about his freakiness? Was he there to punish him?

"I didn't mean to! I promise didn't mean to! Nothing happened! Whatever you think it didn't happen!"

"Harry! Harry! calm down. It's okay. Take a deep breath for me. There's a good lad. Now .. what didn't you mean to do?"

Harry's breath started hitching again.

"Ssshhh. It's okay. I won't hurt you. Whatever you did, it's okay" whispered Moody. Very carefully, like he would a spooked animal, he leaned forward and hugged Harry. For a few seconds he was stiff and then suddenly he relaxed and clung to Moody shaking and trembling. It was only when he felt his shoulder get wet that he realized that Harry was crying.

Mad eye rocked Harry for what felt like an age, whispering reassurences and kissing his head. And every time Harry would start crying all over again.

Finally Mad eye sat down crossed legged and sat Harry on his leg. Harry was still sniffling but at least the waterworks had stopped.

"Harry?"

"hmm?"

"Do you want me to take you away?"

"A shy nod"

"It will mean you won't be able to come to school here. Or see your cousin, or your aunt and uncle."

"I don't care" came the whispered reply.

"All right. We will have to warn Remus"

Harry stared uncomprehendingly as Mad Eye picked up the mirror and said just like he had "Remus Lupin". The same man appeared as last time.0

"Mad eye, what's going on? Is Harry alright?"

"He's alright. I'm bringing him home so you better leave the house"

"Oh. You are? Thank you! Thank you so much! But what about Dumbledore?"

"I'm not doing it for you Remus. It's for this little one. And Dumbledore does not control me" Replied Mad eye with a kiss to Harry's head. "He deserves a home for himself".

With that he ended the connection with murmered _finite _and smiled at Harry.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_I'm not sure of my Moody characterization. And yet I imagine gruff Moody would not be so gruff if being warm was a requirement. I think children can bring out new sides to adults. Having said that if you think u have a suggestion to improve him you can always PM. _


	6. Magic

_It's a short chapter. But it is being uploaded only a couple hours after the 5__th__ one. So I thought you might appreciate it. _

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry was frozen. The mirror was being freaky again and it had been freaky to Lastor too. He did not do it. He did not!

"I didn't do it! I didn't make it freaky!"

"Harry are you talking about the mirror?"

"I didn't make it freaky. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't make it freaky-"his mind was roiling with images of talking mirror.

"Harry it's the mirror which is magic. You did not have to do anything. Harry do you hear me?"

"It's normal. Nothing happened. I didn't see anything" Harry leaned forward and looked into the mirror to see himself. "See. There is no one in the mirror." Harry knew bad things happened when the 'm' word was said and his freakiness was not allowed. But the mirror was okay. He had been tired and dreaming. Was the old man real? May be he was dreaming of the old man too. No one wanted Harry.

Harry turned around and looked up into the old very worried face. "Are you real?"

"Harry I'm real. I'm right here."

Harry stared at him in wonder and touched moody's face with his hand.

"My name is Alastor Moody. I just told you that lad. Are you okay"

"So you are really taking me away. It's not a dream? I dream this often you know. A stranger comes and takes me away. It must be a dream. Are you real?"

"Harry lad …"

There was a soft voiced response but Harry didn't pay attention to it, already deep in thought as he snuggles deeper into Moody's lap and under his arm. Harry did not know where he was going to go or who _Lastor Moodi _was but he knew that _Lastor _likedhim. He had never been held liked that. It _always _hurt. Piers held him so Dudley could beat him, but no one else had ever held him. Everyone touched to hurt him. Piers shoved and tripped him, Dudley kicked and punched, Aunt Petunia pulled his ears and slapped him, And Uncle Vernon… It was better not to think what Uncle Vernon did Harry thought with a shudder as his bottom hurt just imagining that cane he kept. But Lastor did not hurt him. It felt so nice to be held and kissed, even when he was being a bad boy and crying all over his nice clean clothes. Lastor even promised him to _not _hurt him. Harry thought Lastor might change his mind later. He might like to smack him when Harry was being a bad boy but that would be okay if Lastor held him like that. In fact Lastor could smack him as much as he wanted as long as he held Harry nicely like that, and talked so softly to him that Harry could fall asleep listening to his voice, or kissed Harry's head like he really cared about Harry. And Harry was so tired. Harry fell asleep snuggled in the arms of the old man. _Lastor_ hi mind corrected. His name is Lastor. Harry imagined that's what having a dad or grand pa might be like. He had seen a boy at the bus stop asleepin an old man's arms once. As his eyes shut the last though Harry had was that Aunt Petunia would wake him from his dream soon enough so he better enjoy being warm and being held while he could. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry having cried himself to exhaustion had fallen asleep, head on Moody's shoulder. Mad-eye put a charm on him to not disturb his sleep, disillusioned both of them and apparated home. He put Harry to bed in the spare room, and took the two way mirror down to his sitting room and settled in his arm chair with a mug of coffee to have a long chat with Remus.

"Hello lad"

"Mad eye! You're home! How is he?" said Lupin's worried face from the mirror.

"Asleep. We haven't established much yet."

"What do you mean?"

"He's terrified of his magic. And that's the only kind he knows so he seems to assume any magic he sees is his"

Remus looked horrified and confused. "But children love magic. I remember muggleborns in our year. They were all fascinated by it. Take Lilly. She was fascinated. I think she even established a measure of control over her abilities before she got to Hogwarts"

"Lilly did not live in an abusive household. I think those muggles beat him every time he did something magical. Terrified the lad so much he does not believe his eyes"

Remus gasped. "What are you saying? How could Harry not know about magic if he was punished for it. If he did it?"

"He is so afraid of being punished that either he blocks out the memory of the magic he sees or does or goes into in to denial. He seemed confused after his panic attack and didn't seem to remember exactly what had happened. "

"But he can't block his magic! And living in a magical household he will have to come terms with it"

"It's not just that. I expect he's subconsciously repressing his magic. Could be very dangerous. Children's accidental magic prevents access build up of it. The more powerful the child the more incidents there are. That is why accidental magic is celebrated in the magical world."

"Harry is probably a fairly powerful wizard. In fact he should be extraordinarily powerful considering what happened to you know who" said Remus thoughtfully.

"Exactly. And all that power must not be suppressed"

"What happens if he keeps doing it?"

"You know Ariana Dumbledore?"

"Who?"

"Ariana. She was Albus Dumbledore's sister. She was a kid when some muggle boys took advantage of her because they saw her doing magic. Terrified her so much she was never able to wield her magic again. It would explode out of her at unexpected moments. Lost her mind, poor soul. I'd expect Albus of all people to know what happens when you place a magical child with muggles! Stupid fool. Constant vigilance! I tell him,"

Remus jumped.

"and he does not even bother to check up on the savior of the wizarding world!"

"Are you going to tell him Mad-eye?"

"And risk his meddling? No thank you! Albus can keep searching"

"It will put you in an awkward position. What if he asks you to help with the search?

Mad-eye sighed. "I can lie or I can tell him. I'll decide when the time comes"

"Alright. Thank you Mad-Eye. Take care of him"

" You're welcome lad. It's going to be slow going with him. All that trauma and distrust will take a while to let go, but kids are resilient. He'll bounce back. You'll see."

"I hope you are right Mad eye. Meanwhile I'll wait for your call tomorrow. I won't call on the mirror. Don't want to spook Harry."

"Sure. And Constant Vigilance!"

Remus ended the call with a slight smile.


End file.
